Teen Titans shorts
by The Kaiser Marcus
Summary: Bah, little ideas and the like I consider too small for even a oneshot, so they go in here. Various characters will be featured sporadically. Currently 'Terra Returns'.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:I don't own any characters used in this short story, DC does.**

**Sideburns**

Slade took a deep sigh before sipping from his coffee. His mask was off, sitting next to his dish on the table. Wintergreen was currently washing several of the dirty utensils and plates at the sink, every once and a while glancing over at his master. Slade would nod at these looks, before shrugging. They'd discussed this many times before, and it needed to be said. Hurt feelings or not, this was _his_ house, and he wasn't going to allow this rebellious behavior any longer.

The two sat a little straighter as the sounds of a door opening and shutting gently came into the room. Slade put down his cup, and crossed his arms on the table.

"Are you sure sir--"

"--Yes, William, I'm positive."

Last chance. Passed.

Joseph walked into the kitchen, placing some of his gear by the doorway before sitting down in the chair across from his father. He was smiling, as usual. Slade liked his son. He doubted there were that many fathers out there that didn't like their children. A couple here and there of course, but by no means a large amount. Still, it wasn't just a fatherly thing. His personality seemed to... mesh well with his own, making their bond even tighter. Joseph sort of worked as a balance, and by all means, he even seemed to be rubbing off on his old man. Just last week, Slade had decided _not_ to bomb the Jump City Children's Charity, but actually donate a rather nice amount. It had given Slade an exhilarated feeling, actually, plus gave his reputation a little boost in the town's eye. Of course, his poker buddies weren't too pleased, saying he was getting soft and touchy-feeling (The last time he'd been like that had been the siring of Joseph), a good knife to the gut kept them quiet.

Slade stared across his father, and signed a quick greeting.

"Hello Joey, I'm fine. How was your day?" Casual conversation, as usual. Slade didn't have a problem with it though. It was a little refreshing to speak without using big words and having hidden meanings within them. Joseph signed back a response, to which his father smirked at. Just going around town, helping the Titans out, rescuing cats from trees, same-old routine.

"Uhh, sir?" Wintergreen shot in, looking over his back. Slade caught his glance, and his smirk faltered. Yeah, had to get this over with sooner or later, and sooner was always better.

"Joey..." Slade spoke up, just as his son was grabbing a roll and beginning to butter it. Joseph looked up, eyes a bit wider.

"I think... we need to talk. About something."

The teen put his roll down, and continued to stare at his father. Slade could guess his son didn't have much of a clue as to what this could be. He sat forward, trying to find the words to for him to say.

"It's about... your..."

Slade's words began to trail off. Jericho picked up his right hand and began to move it up and down, as if he were strumming something.

"No, it's not your guitar."

Joseph waited a little more for his father to continue. When he didn't, the mute picked up his hands and made another, more intricate sign.

_'He has a girlfriend?'_ "What, no, it's not your girlfriend, though we're going to have a talk about that, but later. What I'm trying to talk about is... what needs to be done is... you need to..."

"Your sideburns, young master Wilson. Your father wishes that you shave them off."

Slade watched as his son suddenly went pale, even his hair seemingly losing its tint of blonde. The sides of his lips dropped, and he stared wide-eyed at the other two. Slade shrugged. Well, no way to go back now.

"Joseph... you know I love you, but you have to understand... you're not living on the mountain anymore, it's not like you can't shave."

_'How _did_ he manage to just have sideburns in the first place, anyway?'_

Joseph's color returned to his face. He stood up from his chair and pointed directly at Slade's own face. More specifically his goatee. He then began to sign furiously with his hands, almost too fast for the two men to read.

"What? It's fashionable, Joey. Whereas, with your sideburns, they're..."

"They look like fuzzy caterpillars, young master Wilson."

The last comment was too much for young Joseph's ears. He immediately grabbed his guitar by the doorway and ran up the stairs. The two men heard from above a door open and violently slam shut. Slade sighed for the second time today, slinking down in his chair. Wintergreen walked over and patted his master's shoulder reassuringly.

"Don't worry sir. We'll get him tonight with the razor."

**-Fin-**


	2. Chapter 2

**Run and Talk**

"So where are we going again?"

"I thought I already told you Wally; S.T.A.R. labs. And we're going there for tests." Barry Allen added the last part, seeing his protege begin to speak again. Kid Flash shrugged, and kept running alongside his mentor. The two were taking a bit longer route than usual from the West Coast to East. Rather than just going straight across the continental U.S.A., they had decided to go along the coast of Latin America, through the Panama Canal (Barry would pay for the toll) and up the western side of America's Atlantic Coast. Barry had suggested it to Wally for two reasons; to see how Wally was doing running; and to catch up on stuff with him.

"Still dont' see why the tests are needed. You run fast; I run fast; what's there to test?" Barry looked over at his nephew, a bit annoyed.

"You were ill, Wally. The disease might have gone away, but S.T.A.R. labs want to make sure it's not going to come back."

"And it isn't. I run as fast as you do, almost..."

"Doesn't matter. Better to be safe than sorry. The docs weren't entirely sure it had cleared up completely..."

"I'm fine Barry, really. And if S.T.A.R. labs wanted to just "check up" on me, why not go to their facilities in Oregon?"

"Only the East Coast labs have the proper equipment for you. And besides... it's nice to do this."

"What, make a bunch of onlookers on boats stare as to waves just come out of nowhere on the sea?"

Barry moved his head to one side, and then the other. Wally kept staring at him, his pace just a little slower than his mentor's. Every once and a while Barry would slow down only a second, just to let Wally keep with him. His nephew didn't really like that, and when he could catch Barry at it he'd tell him to stop.

"How has it been going?" Barry finally spoke, interrupting the silence. Wally shrugged.

"Can't complain. Been helping out the Titans here and there, getting in the newspaper. Seems most people like my face." Wally finished his sentence with a grin, taking one of his hands and putting it under his chin for dramatic affect. Barry smiled. Good.

"Titans don't have any problems with you stealing the show every once and a while?"

"Nah, they seem a little relieved actually. Sure, that Robin guy gets a bit flustered when I solve the crime and put all his work to shame, but--"

"By 'solve the crime', you mean catch the bad guy, right?"

Wally rubbed his chin, evidently thinking. "Yeah, I guess you could say that." The mentor chuckled at the retort.

"So, other than making a name for yourself, you been doing anything else?"

Wally turned his head at an angle, scratching the side of his neck.

"Yeah, some other things..."

"Girls?"

Kid Flash stopped in his tracks, letting the scarlet-clad hero speed past him for a moment. Putting his hands up in front of him, he threw Barry a knowing glance. The mentor simple stared back with his own look, all too well remembering himself at that age. Of course, his definition of skirt-chasing back then probably wasn't what it was now.

"Come on Barry, I tell you enough stuff; there's gotta be some things though that I keep to myself; you know?" Barry crossed his arms across his chest, nodding silently. Wally had a point, he guessed.

"If it's something that you want to keep to yourself, then I won't bother you about it."

"Thanks, Barry."

Barry shrugged, and started running again. Kid Flash was soon at his side, not seeming to notice his mentor's slight lower in speed.

"I remember myself at your age, you know, so I know what privacy can mean to someone. Just... want to make sure you're not making a decision that can cause you problems."

Wally dismissed the notion with a smug look, throwing his hands back up in an uncaring manner.

"I figure if I get a girl angry at me I'll just run and let her cool down. No worrying, just run until it's cool enough to fix things up."

"You can't fix a broken heart, Wally."

More silence. Barry could tell Wally was thinking. He didn't do that often, or at least pretended not to. Always the show-off, but with enough sense to not over-play himself. But when he was with him, in the presence of the person he was destined to replace one day, he did a lot more thinking. Anyone would, even without the advice.

"Hey Barry."

"Yeah?"

"We nearing the Canal point yet? Haven't eaten since breakfast; sort of starving; you know?"

Barry grinned. He pointed forward with his index finger to a blot in the distance.

"Checkpoint's right up there. We're almost home free."

"Race you to it."

"You sure you want to exert yourself before we get to S.T.A.R. labs? They might not be happy."

"Barry, they won't be happy that I _ate_ before going to them. Last one to the Canal pays!"

"Hey wait--" Barry stretched his hand out, reaching for Wally as he kicked his running up a notch and blazed past his uncle. Barry smiled at the sight though as the upset water flew up into the air right behind his nephew.

Definitely was doing alright for himself. He'd make a good Flash, even if he was a bit more cocky than Barry liked. Still, that'd lessen with age, and wisdom. Grinning , he sped up close to his top speed, reaching Wally in a matter of seconds. His protege looked over, downcast.

"Hey, no... fair." he added the last word clumsily, not exactly sure of his statement's validity. Barry shrugged, and sped on ahead, right through the first set of locks. A lookout guard on the mainland suddenly found a wad of bills in his hand, and stared in disbelief at the money. Another flash blurred right by him then, unsettling the water and splashing him with it.

"Hey, hey-- wait up!"

Barry smiled again, this time not letting his nephew catch up.

_'Hope Wally's ready to spend any money he earned in his escapades on the west coast, because I'm starved as well.'_


	3. Chapter 3

**Continuing my line of satirical one-shots... don't know why anybody hasn't thought of this before... **

**'Terra' Returns!**

"GUYS GUYS GUYS!"

The Titans all turned their heads in the direction of Beast Boy, who had just burst into the living room of their tower. Raven had been meditating; Cyborg reading a magazine on cars; and Robin and Starfire discussing... other sorts of things. Today was a typical day in the city, with little crime reported at all. At least, not the kind that the police couldn't handle. The team couldn't help but look up from what they were doing to see what was making Beast Boy look so estatic. In fact, in many of their minds they couldn't remember a time he looked any happier.

"What is it BB? The mall's giving out free mopeds?" Cyborg asked. It was common knowledge the green changeling had a thing for mopeds, so it was the first thing that popped into his mind to ask Beast Boy about.

"NO!"

"You won a... year-long supply of tofu?" Raven was the second to try and garner a guess. Beast Boy shook his head hysterically, tears beginning to well up in his eyes.

"NO!"

"Well then, what is it, Beast Boy?" Robin queried, now interested in whatever was making his friend weep for joy. Beast Boy dried his eyes with his shirt sleeve and took in a deep breath before speaking.

"TERRA'S BACK!" he screamed, throwing his arms back as if steady himself from the ferocity of the screech.

"WHAT?!" All of the Titans yelled back. All of them dropped completely from what they were doing and ran at him.

"Are you sure, Beast Boy?"

"Oh, this is MOST glorious!"

"Ah yeah, I _knew_ this was going to happen one of these days!"

"... Wow."

"Yep," Beast Boy said, taking a step to the side and motioning to the door behind with his arm. "I went back to her cave today to talk with her, and the statue was gone. I first thought maybe vandals or _Slade_ had done something to her; but no; she came out from one of the corners of the place; probably trying to surprise me! And now I brought her back here, and she can be a Titan again and live with us again and eat with us again and--"

"Beast Boy, slow down a little, and just bring Terra in for us, alright?" Robin requested, his hands up for a better effect. Beast Boy nodded enthusiastically and ran out of the room, into the hallway. The Titans waited a few moments, all delighted in the news, though they couldn't help wonder how Terra had come back all of a sudden.

"You know, you would think something big would've happened when she returned, like a small earthquake of some kind." Raven pondered, looking over at the others. Cyborg shrugged, beginning to return his magazine as the wait dragged on a little more.

"The stone effects probably just wore off or something. Besides, she had control over her powers, so I don' think she'd trigger something that dangerous." Starfire nodded, with a large smile on her face.

"That does not matter now though. All that matters now is that Terra has returned to us, and we can have her as a sister again."

"So long as Beast Boy hurries up." Raven added, starting to become impatient. The wait had now begun to drag into minutes. What was the problem? Was Terra too afraid of what the Titans would think of her; had she already ran away again? Was Beast Boy trying to convince her to stay this time; and not go?

After a few more minutes Beast Boy finally came back, his left arm grabbing the right wrist of someone still taking their time to get past the door. Eventually however, Beast Boy was able to pull them in with a little coaxing, and brought the person in full view of the Titans' views.

"_Herrreee's_ Terra!" Beast Boy exclamed, like some gameshow host on television. The Titans however, did not respond with any sort of joy at the sight of Terra in their midst. In fact, they went quite white. Starfire leaned in to Robin, hiding her mouth behind her left hand.

"Robin, Terra has... returned, yes?"

"Yeah Star, she's returned... but... how... I don't want to know."

Raven ran her hand over her own face, before returning to staring at the 'girl'. Beast Boy looked at the others, his smile dropping a bit.

"Guys, what's wrong? It's Terra!"

"Uhhh, no BB, that ain't Terra. That's..."

"Terra!"

"No Beast Boy, it's a zombie."

Beast Boy looked aghast at Raven's comment. His expressions soon turned to anger however, and he lashed out against the empath.

"WHAT?! Terra's not a zombie, Raven! It's just Terra; she's still suffering from being a rock a little."

"I hate to agree with Raven, Beast Boy, but I don't... think that's the case."

"Oh, and do you have any _proof_ that's not 'the case'?!" Beast Boy shouted back, his anger rising. Cyborg took a step forward, looking down at the pale former friend of theirs, still clad in the Slade Battle Armor given to her before.

"Well one; her eyes are stark white."

"SO? Maybe the stone made her a little blind, for a while..."

"Okay. Two; she keeps moaning."

"She's hungry!" Beast Boy yelled, pointing to 'Terra's' stomach. The animated being slowly looked down at the extended index finger of the Titans' changeling, before looking up at the changeling himself. The moaning began to become a little louder.

"Uhh... Three; her skin is _peeling off_. There are bones showing here and there, and my scanners aren't picking up any _life signs at all. _Come on man!_"_

Beast Boy took his hand from 'Terra's' grasp and stuck three fingers up in the air, bending one back with each counter-point. "Well one; she could just be suffering from a lack of lotion! Two; she's obviously been starved while a rock; and three; your scanners are busted!"

"Beast Boy, that thing isn't Terra anymore, it's a ZOMBIE!" Raven shouted, emotion picking up into her voice. Beast Boy gasped at his friend's scream, taking it as a personal insult this time.

"YOU JUST HATE TERRA IS ALL, YOU ALWAYS DID! Come on Terra, we know when we're not wanted!" Beast Boy grabbed 'Terra's' left arm and started running up the stairs back to the door. The other four Titans stood in amazement as zombie Terra was dragged behind their distraught teammate,the door almost catching its foot as it closed, the slam seeming to echo Beast Boy's own anger with his friends. It took them a few minutes to gather themselves and fully realize what had just taken place.

"Guys, you're thinking what I'm thinking?" Cyborg asked, looking back and forth between his friends. The other three nodded.

"Tonight, we're going to have to do something about 'Terra'." Robin answered, slamming one gloved fist into the other. "But for now, we've got to monitor Beast Boy and make sure he doesn't get bitten."

"That's how the disease spreads, after all." Raven commented, holding her copy of the _Zombie Survival Manual_. Cyborg raised his index finger, looking like he had a question.

"One thing Raven, the disease has to be spread one infected person to the next, right?"

"Yeah, why--

"...Oh."

Robin turned to look out the windows of the Living Room and out onto the city beyond.

"Not good."

-Fin-

**As compensation for the fic, I promise that serious Beast Boy/Terra chapter story a little sooner than I planned. Until then, thanks for reading this.  
**


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